Mr. Pangalal’s SeriousConditionitis
The meaning of the word ‘Panga’ is ‘Trouble’ and Mr. Pangalal is aptly named by his longsuffering parents. Mr. P is a pain in the rear end of easygoing life. He is trouble for those associated with him but is blissfully unaware of the effect he has on people and as far as he is concerned, All Izz Well. We would like to believe that he was created at leisure and to avoid duplication of such a trying specimen, the mould was destroyed after he was sculpted. While in reality, after his birth, the premises were fumigated to kill all residue toxins in the air which could affect the others in the vicinity and make their condition serious as well. We are told that the attending doctor and the two nurses were affected and to this date, their families are searching for a cure for this dreaded disease called, “seriousconditionitis .”
Mrs. Pangalal is a victim of circumstances, they being her parents deciding to make her this eccentric man’s lawfully wedded wife. Mr. P comes from a family of military personnel and is proud of his ancestors who inspired him to walk in their esteemed footsteps. The only problem with this is that Mr. P takes everything too seriously and is rigid in his demeanor and behavior towards his family members. He is unable to draw the line between work and play, and ends up making his home another battleground for all living there; the battleground of strict discipline and rigid rules and duties, the battleground of barking orders, yelling instructions and expecting all to fall in line at his command. He pictures himself as the fearless leader leading his team to victory.
Let me invite the woman who is undergoing this torture to come out and share her thoughts with us all. I present to you, Mrs. Pangalal (what a name to be saddled with for life)
“Both his grandfather and father weren’t afflicted with this ailment; Mr. P is an exception and a weird one at that. He has to have the last word, be it any argument or discussion and not even when it’s something he knows nothing about. He is right and the world is wrong, period. Don’t even get me started on his other infuriating habits. Okay, I will regale you with my plight if you insist.
It starts with the alarm in the morning at 6 A M, no matter how late we go to bed and then the radio starts blaring. I need my morning quiet time to think and meditate but he doesn’t care. The next thing he proceeds to do is to make the bed and fold the quilts. Hello, I am still sleeping and might want to burrow in the warm quilt for a while, even after waking up.
There’s a rule for using the quilt/blanket too; the printed side has to be on top, I am not allowed to just open the quilt and tuck myself in. The plain side is on the inner side; as if the quilt gods are watching over us and will strike us dead if the order is reversed. He transforms the bed into a hospital bed, with the edges of the bed sheet tucked in tight and no creases showing on the surface of the bed. The pillows have to be kept neatly stacked up, the curtains pulled back fully, letting in the blinding light.
I can go on about his cleanliness fetish and the spring cleaning we have to do every Sunday and holidays. The no-eating in bed rule, only at the dining table, the cushions of the sofa have to be kept at an angle, and no slippers to be worn outside of the house. Even if I have to go down to the garage to get something out of the car, the slippers need to go and the sandals brought out.”
As I listened to the mind-boggling tales of Mr P’s behavior, I was relieved and grateful that I was spared this agony.My husband is the exact opposite of Mr Pangalal, if Mr. P is a 10 on the crazy scale then my husband is a 2 at the most. Yay, Lucky me.