Innocence lost.

As I sit and stare at my computer screen, I sense an impending panic attack. My greatest fear is that I will run out of words and my mind will shrivel up and die. Writer’s block, I believe is the correct term, but when you are not a writer and still suffer from this predicament, what do you do then?

How do you explain your fears to your friends and family? Nobody understands your anguish, how can they when you yourself don’t know the reason. What secrets have you got locked in that cauldron of a brain, which if not revealed, will cause it to explode? Everybody has secrets, some a few more than the others. No secret is worth losing your sleep over and definitely not worth losing your sanity over. Sometimes your deep rooted fears resurface, when you least expect them to. A tragic event has a triggering effect on your mind and out spills these maggots of fear and shame, from the hidden crevices of your brain, where they have been feasting on for an eternity.

It’s only when you confront them that you remember all those mishaps. The turbulent emotions, the silent cries, the deafening silence the helplessness and fear. Face them they can’t hurt you ever again. You are a stronger person now and no longer a victim but a survivor. I read a touching story in the morning and have been thinking about it the whole day. It was about a survivor of child abuse. Whenever we hear or read about child abuse, the abuser in most cases is known to the child. He is either an uncle, brother, father, cousin or domestic help, having easy access to the child. The child trusts these men and doesn’t question their inappropriate touching until it is too late.

What goes through the minds of these little children when they are suddenly groped or pulled into a closet under the guise of horse-play by their cousin? When the beloved uncle steals a kiss from the little niece and puts his tongue inside her tiny mouth? When the servant, takes a nap with the baby and fondles her at will? How do these innocent children react to these atrocities?

Most of the times, they don’t raise an alarm, because these men manipulate them and emotionally blackmail the children. In some cases the children are so young that the parents haven’t even had the wrongful touching talk with them. The kids think it’s okay to be touched in this manner by the uncle or bhaiya, because their parents know them and welcome them in the house.

Many such cases go unreported and the children suffer mental agony as they start understanding about these things. Some of them tell a trusted elder but some suffer silently because their spirit has been crushed at an early age. All these children grow up with a lot of issues and carry a lot of mental baggage on their frail shoulders. Their whole outlook towards life and society changes dramatically and even their sexual relations are affected.

Parents should teach their children very early in life, about the kinds of touching which is allowed and the wrong kind, which is not. They should be told to raise an alarm at the slightest hint of unease and if they are uncomfortable with anyone behaving in a manner not to their liking.  Children should be able to trust their parents and be certain of their unconditional love and trust.

The incident of abuse should be discussed openly and the parents should talk about it with the child and also take her/him to a child psychiatrist. Never ever should the child be made to feel guilty or a victim. His/her act of bravery should be rewarded with profuse praise and the channel of communication between the child and the parents should always remain open and honest.
Let’s create awareness about Child Sexual abuse and help protect the innocent children. I am supporting the initiative by adding their logo in my blog’s sidebar.
Lucks aka Sulekha

26 thoughts on “Innocence lost.

  1. your post is very important. another step taken for the awareness to protest against child abuse. we must altogether support the cause to protect the innocent children. this i believe will promote a clean society also.

  2. Your post says so much. This is such a vile act and should be treated as such. It can ruin a child's life and in many cases the abuse go on to abuse others. Thus the cycle continues and more children are put at risk. We as a world society must impose the strictest penalties on child abusers. They should be pitied but also punished without pity.

    Great post

  3. I am so pleased you repeatedly stated that children can survive such abuse. Whilst we all know it should never happen, unfortunately it does, but with the correct support no child should remain a victim. Great cause to support.

  4. hmmm…sulekha…somehow you've opened deep seated wounds… and i thank God… for the first time in my life somebody understood how it goes with children who were "touched" in a "different" way… i'll second this post with a reply blog…

    i only had the chance to talk about it when i was twenty four…

    how many more of this children have to come out of the closet…

    geez, children in vietnam are sold by parents to foreigners in exchange for money… there's a "hotspot" for "gays" in our country… sometimes, children sold to sex slavery begin to enjoy their "work"…

    we expose their sufferings but fail to fight for their dignity and rights…

    WE create their world… WE are responsible…

  5. I have no clue at all on how serious this sexual abuse is but this is something that we definitely have to pay attention of and create awareness…. Thank you Sulekkha for the brilliant post….:)

  6. Leena Shalom Das: Very very well-written, Sulekha! Your write-up has such an assertive tone to it, and it is convincing enough for anyone to put his/her foot down and say, ''Let's fight this social menace!''
    I truly echo your views of what can be done to stop child abuse! Yes, we don't want innocence lost that way, by not being able to do anything, when we can do something!

  7. Wow! What else to say WOW! Survival and learning to trust again. Never feeling like a victim and rising above. Beautiful.

  8. A deep dark topic today, one that disgusts me and I have a hard time thinking about the subject because it is so revolting. Child predators should be locked away for life as there's no curing them!! You will never suffer from writers block 🙂

  9. You make a very good point, but as you said much of this abuse happens before such talking can take place, maybe before the child has a chance to understand. Until the parent(s) can work up the courage or put together the right words, it is up to them to guard the safety of their children, and that may mean never leaving them alone in the company of anyone, not even family. As much as we might blind ourselves to the truth, we know who we can trust with our children, we just have to pay closer attention to those gut feelings, and even then it may not be good enough.

  10. Thank you Sulekha for shedding light on this important issue. Every day tons of children are abused . Any form of abuse – be it verbal,physical ,psychological or sexual – robs them of their innocence. I feel parents should talk to children as early as possible and let them know they are not only parents but their friends as well.

  11. I want to thank each and every one of you wonderful people, who read my post and left such beautiful and touching comments here. I value your sincere and encouraging compliments, thank you all.God bless…

  12. Yes I agree with you, Jennybus. Maybe this will help in spreading awareness about this menace. Thanks for your comment.

  13. Awesome Post darling Mitr. Wonderfully and fantastically done. I am following your advice to last letter. Thanks a ton!

  14. Thank you my Mitr, don't you agree that our children are our top priority and deserve all the love, care and protection by us?

  15. Very important and educational post about child abuse. Yes, we have to teach our children from young on how to take care of themselves. Thanks for spreading awareness on child abuse.

  16. You have got to wonder at the sick mental state of people who can do such horrendous things to little children. A sensitively written post about a sensitive and important issue of our times. A society that can’t keep its children safe from such horrors needs to really figure out what it is doing wrong.

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