As I sit and stare at my computer screen, I sense an impending panic attack. My greatest fear is that I will run out of words and my mind will shrivel up and die. Writer’s block, I believe is the correct term, but when you are not a writer and still suffer from this predicament, what do you do then?
How do you explain your fears to your friends and family? Nobody understands your anguish, how can they when you yourself don’t know the reason. What secrets have you got locked in that cauldron of a brain, which if not revealed, will cause it to explode? Everybody has secrets, some a few more than the others. No secret is worth losing your sleep over and definitely not worth losing your sanity over. Sometimes your deep rooted fears resurface, when you least expect them to. A tragic event has a triggering effect on your mind and out spills these maggots of fear and shame, from the hidden crevices of your brain, where they have been feasting on for an eternity.
It’s only when you confront them that you remember all those mishaps. The turbulent emotions, the silent cries, the deafening silence the helplessness and fear. Face them they can’t hurt you ever again. You are a stronger person now and no longer a victim but a survivor. I read a touching story in the morning and have been thinking about it the whole day. It was about a survivor of child abuse. Whenever we hear or read about child abuse, the abuser in most cases is known to the child. He is either an uncle, brother, father, cousin or domestic help, having easy access to the child. The child trusts these men and doesn’t question their inappropriate touching until it is too late.
What goes through the minds of these little children when they are suddenly groped or pulled into a closet under the guise of horse-play by their cousin? When the beloved uncle steals a kiss from the little niece and puts his tongue inside her tiny mouth? When the servant, takes a nap with the baby and fondles her at will? How do these innocent children react to these atrocities?
Most of the times, they don’t raise an alarm, because these men manipulate them and emotionally blackmail the children. In some cases the children are so young that the parents haven’t even had the wrongful touching talk with them. The kids think it’s okay to be touched in this manner by the uncle or bhaiya, because their parents know them and welcome them in the house.
Many such cases go unreported and the children suffer mental agony as they start understanding about these things. Some of them tell a trusted elder but some suffer silently because their spirit has been crushed at an early age. All these children grow up with a lot of issues and carry a lot of mental baggage on their frail shoulders. Their whole outlook towards life and society changes dramatically and even their sexual relations are affected.
Parents should teach their children very early in life, about the kinds of touching which is allowed and the wrong kind, which is not. They should be told to raise an alarm at the slightest hint of unease and if they are uncomfortable with anyone behaving in a manner not to their liking. Children should be able to trust their parents and be certain of their unconditional love and trust.
The incident of abuse should be discussed openly and the parents should talk about it with the child and also take her/him to a child psychiatrist. Never ever should the child be made to feel guilty or a victim. His/her act of bravery should be rewarded with profuse praise and the channel of communication between the child and the parents should always remain open and honest.
Let’s create awareness about Child Sexual abuse and help protect the innocent children. I am supporting the initiative by adding their logo in my blog’s sidebar.
Lucks aka Sulekha