“The imperfections of a man, his frailties, his faults, are just as important as his virtues. You can’t separate them. They’re wedded. ~Henry Miller”
Sensitivity is a curse at least that is what I feel. Being too sensitive is not good for anybody concerned. Definition of sensitivity is, is open to, acutely affected by, easily upset by criticism. Why are we so emotional and how does it affect our life? When do people say that you are too sensitive? When we feel, a bit too much, take everything, people say to heart, are pained by unintentional jibes, imagined slights.
Overemotional people create problems for themselves by inviting hurt and pain in their lives. I remember going to my doctor, a renowned medical specialist, and his diagnosis was that I was too sensitive for this world, hence all my medical problems. He had given me excellent advice, which I conveniently forgot, that was, “You need to become less sensitive, develop a thick skin to survive in this world. If you continue being so emotional and vulnerable, you will find it difficult to carry on with your normal day-to day activities and will suffer from depression.”
Today, when I look back at the years gone by and the increasing number of pills on my bed-side table, I regret not heeding his advice. Had I listened to him and conditioned myself to be tough and invincible to imaginary hurts and thoughtless remarks, I would be better off from what I am now, an emotional mess, a sensitive fool, a misfit in this society. One who feels bad if the doctor’s receptionist is rude or the liftman doesn’t smile back or even when the neighbour’s maid gives her a dirty look.
I had a friend who was so much in love that the mere thought of, not being able to see her sweetheart even for a day, or not hear from him at least once daily, drove her to the brink of despair and acute distress. She lived for the moments, when she could speak with him or receive his letters. When I asked her why she behaved in this manner, she simply told me,” I love him”. I had no immediate response, though in retrospect, I feel I could have said so many things to convince her to be gentle with the love pony, and ride her nice and easy.
What do people mean when they say,” I Love you?” What are they trying to imply? Since time immemorial, we have been trying to understand this phenomenon called,” love”. When two people like each other and want to spend time with each other, long to be together all the time and can’t stop thinking about one another, they are said to be in love. He looks into her eyes and whispers these three magical words and her life changes completely; she is never going to be the same again.
The love bug has bitten her, for good. She starts dreaming about a future with him in it, her every thought revolves around him. He doesn’t make her his end-all and be-all, like she does him. She is a part of his life, not his entire life; she is a very dear option while he is her top priority. She being hyper sensitive, feels bad about it and constantly keeps thinking about it, and harming herself, in the process.
This is where we women become our own worst enemies, we fall in love and never rise up completely again, while men glide into love and never lose their footing. They know love is important but so are a host of other things. They don’t lose their senses along with their heart; in fact they hold on to their heart as security and capture hers as down payment. Men are such businessmen when it comes to love. Women are selfless in love and life, they just know to give and never ask for anything in return. But they go overboard with their display and declarations of love, at least the super-sensitive ones do.
The fact that he said, I love you, proves that he loves her so why does she want more? Why this constant need to hear him say it again and again, why the want to know that he misses her when he is far and is thinking about her 24/7? She creates problems for herself by being so paranoid and clinging, she doesn’t realize it but she ends up pushing him away with her maniacal display of emotions. She needs to take a chill pill and sit back on her pretty behind and dream lustful dreams, to keep her mind off the disturbing and negative thoughts. Fantasizing about a reunion with an absent mate is sweet medicine for the soul and prepares her for the actual event, when it occurs.
“A sensitive plant in a garden grew,
And the young winds fed it with silver dew,
And it opened its fan-like leaves to the light,
and closed them beneath the kisses of night.
~Percy Bysshe Shelley, “The Sensitive Plant,”
Lucks aka Sulekha