Blogging, Sparky

My Most Beloved Letter

My Most Beloved Letter #writebravely

7 prompts for 7 days. 

Day 5- Write a letter.

 

My darling, Sparky, eleven-year old baby Dalmatian was battling with renal failure in the year 2015. Her blood reports were alarming and the vet had confirmed our worst fears but we continued to hope and pray for a miracle. I spent a lot of time with her since the grim prognosis and we had developed a secret language, she always understood my feelings just like I understood hers. She used to look at me with her big, sad and beautiful eyes as if asking me why this was happening to her. I had no answers. I’d imagined my baby writing this letter to me when she was going through a rough time a couple of years ago. I’d posted this on SP. Sharing it here to tell you all about my dear Sparky. If she could write; this is the letter she would have written.

Sparky’s letter to Me.

My dear Mommy,

I will always love you, unconditionally! You know you can count on my discretion, haven’t I seen you crying and cursing at times when there isn’t a third person in the house. You may pretend to be happy and strong in front of the world, but I see the real, unvarnished, honest you.

I am aware that when someone hurts you with their unkind comments or remarks, you pretend to retaliate but when they leave, you crumble and cry. I have spied you sitting on the kitchen floor, bawling your lungs out on occasions. Mommy, you are pretty strange, you cry at every occasion. You cry when you are unhappy and glad, every time you hear good news, you cry big salty tears. I know their texture because I lick them off of your cheeks.

I don’t like it when you are sad, it breaks my heart to see you suffering and nowadays you are perpetually crying while hugging and petting me. Though I relish hearing the, ‘I love yous’ you keep whispering in my ears, but no more tears please. I understand my time with you is limited now, but I want us to have fun. Let us enjoy whatever time I have left, and not waste it fearfully anticipating my going away. I may not be strong enough to run and play ball with you but I can still feel and see. So let me see that sweet mommy smile, I will miss it when I go away to doggy heaven.

I am sorry if my refusal to eat inconveniences you, my failing kidneys make me feel pukish and I can’t bring myself to eat, even when you feed me with your hands. I try not to throw up after meals but fail to do so sometimes, sorry for making a mess on the bed and the floor. I know you want to understand what’s wrong with me and keep asking me to tell you what I need.

I need you to just be with me and never leave me alone. I am afraid, my heart beats very fast and I can’t breathe without my family by my side. You make me feel safe and protected, nothing can harm me on your watch, help me mommy, don’t let me go. I am sorry for disrupting your life but you mean the world to me, you are my mommy and I need you.

Your loving Dalmatian daughter

Sparky Rawat

Feb 2015

 

Linking this post to #writebravely at @Write Tribe

I am taking part in The Write Tribe Festival of Words #6‘.

6 thoughts on “My Most Beloved Letter

  1. While I was reading this, I was reminded of a book “A Dog’s Purpose – Ellie’s Story by W. Bruce Cameron”. It is story which is written from a dog’s perspective and you know what, going by that book, if Sparky could write, she would have written this letter just in this very fashion. You are truly blessed to have the love and affection of Sparky. Never cry again, because sparky does not want you to see you that way. A big hug to you, Sulekha!! ♥

    1. Shilpa, I have that book with me but am yet to read it. I am afraid of breaking down when I start reading the story. Thanks for listening to me talk about Sparky, when we met last month. <3

  2. Oh my Su this is heartbreaking stuff and I shed a few tears for you and Sparky. After I lost Fluffy, have never had the guts to keep another again. They really do steal a part of your heart and snuggle in there for life – dont they? I love the letter for its honesty; thank you for sharing so much. A big warm hug to you!!

    1. Shalini, they take a piece of our soul with them. Hugs to you, Fluffy sounds soft and delicate, hugs to you. I can’t bring home another precious treasure for fear of losing it soon.

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