Mine

Why 8th January is so very special to me?

In loving memory of my dear Dad…

New Year Pic Of Dad And I

This year, on 8th January 2014, I leave behind the naughty forties and turn a respectable fifty, but that’s not why this date is so dear to me; there is a deeper and more profound reason for the same. My father chose to leave this world on my birthday four years ago, and for a very long time I blamed myself for his death.  My dear friend Alka helped me understand and cope with it. She said, “Your father loved you so much that he chose your birthday as his going away date; he was the first one to call you up on the morning of your birthday. He wished you, and told you how happy you had made him, showered his love and blessings on you before saying goodbye. Your bond with your father has become stronger; he has proved to you that you were his favorite child by choosing your birthday as his last date.”

I wanted to believe her so much, and I did, but it took me a long time to get over this blow to my heart and soul. For the first couple of years after losing him, I didn’t celebrate my birthday but the unconditional love and support of my family and friends was like a soothing balm on my bruised and battered heart. My dad was big on celebrating birthdays at the stroke of the midnight hour, and that is what we did last year. My mom fed me the first bite of the gooey chocolate cake and wished me a happy birthday, my nieces and nephews and their respective parents added to my already bulging form by feeding me a piece of cake each 🙂

I would like to believe that my dad was smiling while watching the midnight birthday celebrations and blessing me like he had always done for the last 40 odd years. This year we are celebrating his life along with my stepping into the fantastic fifties 🙂

Amidst all the smiles and lighthearted banter, lies a fragile heart, whole on the outside but with multiple cracks in its core. Each day strengthens my resolve to be brave and face life’s challenges with a smile, which I do, but sometimes the smile slips off and lays bare my bereft heart, for all the world to see.

 

Sulekha aka Lucks

35 thoughts on “Why 8th January is so very special to me?

  1. Hey…Parents always love their children especially when you know you were so close to him. Will you be in Mumbai to celebrate 50? Toh party ho jaaye?

    1. Thanks 🙂 yes I will be in Mumbai. Come over on 8th for a small ceremony and lunch. Tell the other blogeshwaris to come if they can…all are cordially invited.

  2. Hugs, Sulekha! It is difficult losing a parent and to lose him on your birthday must have been such a blow. Glad that your friend made you realize how precious you were to him. May God bless you, this birthday and for all coming ones! Stay happy!

    1. Thank you so much for your kind words, Rachna. Alka helped me a lot, in fact she was with me when I got the news over the phone.

  3. Hugs Sulekha…I agree totally with what your friend Alka told you…he indeed chose your birthday and made is more special for you.
    Wish you a fabulous year ahead, as you step into another year of awesomeness 😀

  4. So happy for your Sulekha. Glad that your friend made you see and believe things differently and that is the truth indeed! Wishing you all the fun times as you step into the fantastic fifties! Cheers 🙂

  5. Fantastic fifty? Great! Wishing you a fun filled day and I am sure you dad is going to celebrate your birthday with from wherever he can see you from. Happy Birthday!

  6. Hugs Sulekha! Acceptance is a tough thing. I admire your strength. Happy Birthday to you!

    My Mom passed away a day before my wedding anniversary and I still feel devastated about it.

  7. It sad to lose a person we love, esp if it's one of our parents. Loved what your friend told to comfort you… But wherever he is… he's always looking down at you…

    And Happy Birthday to you! 🙂

  8. Hugs!! Happy Birthday and that would be a really hard thing to work through. I am so glad you had a dear friend comfort and help you see, it wasn't your fault. Bless you on this special day and throughout the year. ♥

  9. Happy Birthday Sulekha…I’m sure your father is very near you and is super proud. His passing away on your birthday must have surely been a massive setback but as your friend said… He chose that day! Hugs… Lv…

  10. I'm sure your dad was there with you celebrating your big day. Happy Birthday Sulekha. I wish you a wonderful year and many blessings. Hugs.

  11. Happy bday Sulekha. Ya some times Life throws such weird challenges at us. May be its dad way of saying to keep the celebration on and remember him always 🙂
    God bless

  12. Happy Birthday Sulekha, I'm glad that you have come to see your father's departure on your birthday as something special. My mom passed on New Year's day, 1998, and it has completely changed the way I experience that holiday.

    1. Hugs to you, Leah. Such things make your world go topsy-turvy and it takes a while to right itself again. Thanks for your kind comment.

  13. Happy Birthday Sulekha, a big hug. I can understand how hard it must have been for you, I remember that my grand father passed away on my younger sister's b'day, she was a mere 7 year old then, we never celebrated her birthday gain. As a child she didn't feel that she had something to do with it, but obviously missed the elaborate b'day festivities that ended from that year on. It has been some good 19 years now and this year when she visited my place for a short stay, my husband & I got her a nice cake and did everything we could to make it a memorable day.

    1. Thank you for your warm hug, Esha. We miss our loved ones always but learn to live without them, which is so sad. You did a wonderful thing by celebrating your sister's birthday, believe me it helps when someone cares enough to show their love.

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