Today’s post in AtoZchallenge… U for undone
Sia twisted a strand of her wavy hair around her finger and looked at the news-clip which was being aired for the third time on the television screen. Tuhin was engrossed in reading the newspaper but when Sia tried to pick up the remote and change the channel, he almost growled at her and chewed her head off for trying to deprive him of his daily news quota. He always did that, shifted the blame on to her for everything that went wrong or displeased him.
She hated being apprehensive of him and didn’t like it when she felt uneasy about discussing what was going on inside her head and heart. This constant fear of his unpleasant reaction to her harmless suggestions made her feel like a failure, less of a person. It took something from her being; this belittled her status as a thinking, respectable, grown person. It made her feel like a victim, at the mercy of his whims and fancies. Tuhin had a sadistic nature and revealed it only when he was alone with Sia. To the rest of the world he was a perfect and caring husband, a model citizen.
“Thank god I was spared the trauma of watching my kids suffer because of our constant arguments.” It wasn’t the first time Sia had thanked god for her defective reproductive system. At least there were no other casualties in this war-torn environment, she could cope, or could she?
Sia gathered her thoughts and tried to frame an innocent sounding question but steeled herself against his explosive reaction, “I was thinking of going for a movie with my colleagues tomorrow, is it okay with you?”
“Why do you make plans without consulting me first”, Tuhin hissed through almost closed lips and banged the drawer of his cupboard shut, making the hinges in the door pop out and the cupboard door to hang crookedly, almost falling off.
“Why are you banging doors and drawers and what’s with this one-sided shouting match? I can hear you perfectly fine when you speak like a rational and normal human being”, Sia’s response made Tuhin stop in his tracks and he glanced over his shoulder at her defiant face, for once at a loss for words.
These daily arguments were slowly eroding the banks of Sia’s emotions and the hurt and sorrow were threatening to spill over their unmarked boundaries. She was unraveling at breakneck speed and her feelings were unsure of their origin or exit from her heart.
Just when she was completely undone, a face flashed before her eyes. The smile and warmth of his gaze thawed her numb soul and brought it back to life. Shri was gone in the blink of her eyes but his memory lingered for a long time, it kept her from falling into the comfortable haze of empty blackness. She was saved once again from drifting off so deep into herself to a point from where there was no turning back. How long could she hold on to this flimsy, tattered thread of emotion before it snapped and took her to blissful nothingness? It was just a matter of time now…
Sulekha aka Lucks
To be contd-