When I can look Life in the eyes,
Grown calm and very coldly wise,
Life will have given me the Truth,
And taken in exchange – my youth.
~Sara Teasdale
Zero Tolerance
This was the topic suggested by my husband of 24 long years ;). According to him, I am a short tempered; nagging old lady and the sad truth is that I tend to agree with him, wholeheartedly. I am grouchy, and crappy and an absolute shrew nowadays. I have a couple of ailments that I conveniently pin all my negative feelings on. One is Hypothyroidism, which I have been suffering from for the last 9 years. The second one is more recent and equally mind altering, Menopause. It’s a double whammy for him.
No matter what the situation, I am not responsible for my actions. It is all due to either Hypothyroidism or Menopause. I have always been a little different, I wouldn’t call it odd, but I have been on the verge of insanity ever since I remember. My personality has gone through a lot of minor changes but my basic character hasn’t undergone any major transformation. In fact, with time, I have embraced my uniqueness wholly and completely. Earlier I used to worry about people’s reactions to my actions, but ever since I have crossed the 45 year landmark in my age, I am invincible. I can be who I am without feeling weird and the world doesn’t have the time to reform a menopausal lady, who is fast approaching 50 😉 She is beyond redemption.
Society is more accepting and forgiving of a middle-aged lady’s tantrums than those of a young lady’s. I pity those pretty little things, who have to weigh their each and every action and word unlike me, who can be who I am. “What you see is what you get”, is so true with me. I wake up with a happy smile on my face, which sometimes becomes a frown when I notice the appearance of wrinkles on my skin but what the heck; there is no gain without pain, right? I have to take the bad with the good, and keep on living my life on my terms.
Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been. ~Mark Twain
Sulekha Rawat
Beautifully expressed…am getting there too….being my quirkiest self.
Thanks Janaki, will wait for you there 😉
Oh how I love your sincerity Sulekha. You have a character I do not know of and perhaps only those who know you well would say, Ahh, yes, that's her! LOL!
I think that your acceptance of your whole self makes you a truly amiable person. And you are capable of accepting others too…
I guess that hormones have something to do with our moods, oh well!But I think your great awareness of who you are and how you react to things also makes for progress. In whichever case, I love you for who you are 🙂
Melissa, I am BAD 🙂 and I love your beautiful compliments and you.
This is lovely Sulekha ! I remember what you had written in my "Mid-life" satire post. This post of yours just seals it ! Love your candidness and unapologetic face off (or should I say – "Face-on" ? 🙂 ) with life ! Keep writing !! Cheers ! Ayon
Ayon, welcome to my site and thanks for the wishes.
Absolutely love this, Sulekha. It seems like with middle-age we've finally got permission to be ourselves. I can see that in me and so glad to find you echo it here – and I can't even blame it on anything – just yet 😉
Corinne, we come into our own in mid forties 😉 You are lucky you have your health and peace of mind, touch wood. Thanks for the lovely comment.
You are so funny Sulekha. It looks like we're both going through some of the same things — I've had hypothyroidism for 18 years, and am smack dab in the middle of menopause and all the lovely symptoms like hot flashes, severe insomnia, etc.! Interesting thing is, I am more myself now than ever. I suddenly don't mind if people don't like me! I like the way you write. 🙂
Jimi, Welcome to my site, 18 years of hypothyroidism must be bad. I am glad you like my writing, would love to read your work. Wish you had left your link 🙁 Thanks for the visit and the comment.
Lol! I love how you describe yourself. So honest. I can't see you as being a nag. You're such a nice lady online. Getting older does give one special freedoms. I smiled a lot reading this. 🙂
Tameka, I am a pest at home 😉 thank you for smiling at my writing,,,
I love the lines in your quote from Teasdale.
Stopping by to congratulate you for completing the challenge, and to thank you for all your very kind and encouraging comments.
You might like to pick up your "I survived" badge from http://www.a-to-zchallenge.com
http://amloki.blogspot.com
Me too, thanks and same to you. I love your stories, I did pick up the badge, I have really struggled to earn it 😉 thanks.
You sure nailed it. I am glad you are courageous to be “yourself.” I tend to hide it but that could be because I have to be “up” all the time in my job and not allow people to see any misery LOL
I loved this post of yours!!
I’ve enjoyed growing older too.. for me – my age is just a number! 😀
I look forward to each birthday like an excited child! 🙂
Your candor is refreshing Sulekha. If only we were all ourselves all the time without wearing a mask. 😉 I too have been diagnosed with hypothyroidism for over 30 years and yet in my heart I know it can be healed – I was on that path and will be again sometime…there are ways you know… 😉 I also am menopausal though no longer seem to suffer from hot flashes which were intermittent. So I wish you the best of luck on dealing with your double whammy! 🙂 <3.
I think you have every right to be what you are and feel the way you do… Zero Tolerance indeed…And it has crept into all women , young and old, these days and it needs to expand its reach even more
This is such a candid post and it is so good that you acknowledge it. Hope your medical worries get sorted soon. Thyroid is really tough, My mom battles it from past 15 years so I know it is difficult.
Health and Happiness always.
Sulekha, this is a very frank and interesting post. I can very well relate to you as I have gone through all this. Sometimes people misunderstand you. Sometimes even family members also tend to misunderstand. BUT this will pass away and the days to enjoy life will follow.
Thanks Usha Menon, it is a trying time but this too shall pass.