Mine

Silent Screams

This post is written for the Wordy Wednesday at the B-A-R

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This Week: Sentence Prompt

                                                         What is it that I really want to say?

Nothing…

I just want to sit quietly and think of all the things I didn’t say to you when you were here. I should have told you that I loved walking into your room in the mornings and waking you up by ruffling your hair, which sometimes used to be stiff and heavily gelled 🙂

But a mother doesn’t mind these occasional hair disasters, what she cherishes is watching her babies grow up into responsible and admirable people. I should have mentioned how much our daily talks meant to me before you left for the distant lands to study and make a career for yourself.

Even the mundane things like watching Eat Street or Psych on television were made special by our expert comments on the programs host and characters. I ought to have mentioned how much I would miss these ordinary moments once you left. Making chocolate cake at midnight while watching football, I am well versed with your favorite team players names, thanks to your constant coaching and mentoring. Manchester City is my team now, I don’t miss their games and know that you are also tuned in at the same time, this fragile connect too manages to make me happy.

I know I shouldn’t have cried holding on to you for dear life while saying goodbye but I am only human. What I should have said then is that I am so proud of you and look forward to hearing from you about the new life you are embarking on, after being my precious baby for 22 years. You are a man now and have to carve a niche for yourself and I am happy you are doing that but I miss my darling son. I miss our silly goofiness, cooking experiments; some disasters but mainly triumphs 🙂

May god bless you and keep you safe, I pray that all your dreams come true and hope you remember to call up this silly old woman once in a while to let her know that her son is doing fine and having the time of his life.

Love you my darling Kartik, take care.

Your loving mom

By Sulekha Rawat

 This week’s prompt comes from B-A-R member, writer and blogger, Beloo Mehra who blogs here.

17 thoughts on “Silent Screams

  1. This is such a spontaneous and lovely post, Sulekha! I admire the way you blend the mother’s love, the shared moments of fun , that indulgent hug all so beautifully. And you have said what you really wanted to say. I do hope you send this to your son for him to read 🙂

    1. Thanks Shailaja, it is so difficult to say goodbye to your babies even when they are all grown up. I will send it to him but hope he doesn’t get too emotional reading it as he is away from me and I can’t reach across and hug him 🙂

  2. You have poured your heart out!! There is so much love there!! So beautiful. my son is 6 and I am already thinking how will I bear it. A mother;s heart has to be so strong!!

  3. Words poured out from your heart, Sulekha and only a mother can find joy and pride in the little silly things done together. My son is growing up and when he leaves the safe boundaries of my house to a distant shore , I too will cry.

  4. Aww this is sweet. I’m sure my mum will be able to relate to this as both my sister and I are miles away. I think she coped reasonably well when I left because my sister was still around but after my sis moved out 2 years ago, she’d been missing us both a whole lot. 🙂

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