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Mr Pangalal’s SeriousConditionitis

This is my entry for the contest “Condition Serious Hai“, on Indiblogger by Cadbury. Here’s a link to their facebook page – the Cadbury 5 Star Facebook page

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Mr. Pangalal’s SeriousConditionitis

The meaning of the word ‘Panga’ is ‘Trouble’ and Mr. Pangalal is aptly named by his longsuffering parents. Mr. P is a pain in the rear end of easygoing life. He is trouble for those associated with him but is blissfully unaware of the effect he has on people and as far as he is concerned, All Izz Well. We would like to believe that he was created at leisure and to avoid duplication of such a trying specimen, the mould was destroyed after he was sculpted. While in reality, after his birth, the premises were fumigated to kill all residue toxins in the air which could affect the others in the vicinity and make their condition serious as well. We are told that the attending doctor and the two nurses were affected and to this date, their families are searching for a cure for this dreaded disease called, “seriousconditionitis .”

Mrs. Pangalal is a victim of circumstances, they being her parents deciding to make her this eccentric man’s lawfully wedded wife. Mr. P comes from a family of military personnel and is proud of his ancestors who inspired him to walk in their esteemed footsteps. The only problem with this is that Mr. P takes everything too seriously and is rigid in his demeanor and behavior towards his family members. He is unable to draw the line between work and play, and ends up making his home another battleground for all living there; the battleground of strict discipline and rigid rules and duties, the battleground of barking orders, yelling instructions and expecting all to fall in line at his command. He pictures himself as the fearless leader leading his team to victory.

Let me invite the woman who is undergoing this torture to come out and share her thoughts with us all. I present to you, Mrs. Pangalal (what a name to be saddled with for life)

bed

Both his grandfather and father weren’t afflicted with this ailment; Mr. P is an exception and a weird one at that. He has to have the last word, be it any argument or discussion and not even when it’s something he knows nothing about. He is right and the world is wrong, period. Don’t even get me started on his other infuriating habits. Okay, I will regale you with my plight if you insist.

It starts with the alarm in the morning at 6 A M, no matter how late we go to bed and then the radio starts blaring. I need my morning quiet time to think and meditate but he doesn’t care. The next thing he proceeds to do is to make the bed and fold the quilts. Hello, I am still sleeping and might want to burrow in the warm quilt for a while, even after waking up.

cushions

There’s a rule for using the quilt/blanket too; the printed side has to be on top, I am not allowed to just open the quilt and tuck myself in. The plain side is on the inner side; as if the quilt gods are watching over us and will strike us dead if the order is reversed. He transforms the bed into a hospital bed, with the edges of the bed sheet tucked in tight and no creases showing on the surface of the bed. The pillows have to be kept neatly stacked up, the curtains pulled back fully, letting in the blinding light.

I can go on about his cleanliness fetish and the spring cleaning we have to do every Sunday and holidays. The no-eating in bed rule, only at the dining table, the cushions of the sofa have to be kept at an angle, and no slippers to be worn outside of the house. Even if I have to go down to the garage to get something out of the car, the slippers need to go and the sandals brought out.”

 

As I listened to the mind-boggling tales of Mr P’s behavior, I was relieved and grateful that I was spared this agony.My husband is the exact opposite of Mr Pangalal, if Mr. P is a 10 on the crazy scale then my husband is a 2 at the most. Yay, Lucky me.

Sulekha Rawat

 

 

 

 

31 thoughts on “Mr Pangalal’s SeriousConditionitis

  1. "as if the quilt gods are watching over us and will strike us dead if the order is reversed" – LOL Poor Mrs. Pangalal. God save women from such men 😛 All the best for the contest Sulekha 🙂

    1. Welcome to my blog, Jyotsana. Loved your witty entry for the contest, best of luck for the same. Thanks for the compliment 🙂

  2. Ha ha ha…Coming from a family of army personnel I could relate very well to this. My Dad is a 7 or 8 on that scale, but fortunately or unfortunately the Mr is not even a complete 1 on that scale. Loved the name: Pangalal. 😀

  3. Lol. I think I might know a person like him. Or he could just match make with the ” aunty” I encountered on my train trip. Good luck Sulekha

    1. Sid, we all have come across such people…aunties are equally bad 🙂 With advancing age, I am becoming a nosy aunty, thanks.

  4. Mr Pangalal could be my dad in many ways. He always wakes up at 5 in the morning no matter what time he goes to bed. Later it changed to 4 but I think it's back to 5. He has his morning routine down to a t. He had a thing about how the quilt had to be folded and how the bed had to be made. He is still so picky how cleanliness. Fortunately for him, my mum is also a clean freak. Unfortunately, his children struggled while living at home! 😛

    Good luck with the contest!

  5. A friend’s father was so and I remember that the poor girl pleaded all of us to plan a night stay so that she could sleep after 8am and Stay in her pajamas on Sunday

  6. Love the post. Mr Panga is everywhere, relatives, next door neighbor, grumpy colleague. The world can do without Mr Panga:)

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